I Tell You "I Love You" in a Whisper

I tell you "I love you" in a whisper
So that you won't hear
And you won't change

I tell you "I love you" in a whisper
So that you remain deaf
And unknowing

I tell you "I love you" in a whisper
So that you won't frown

And will continue smiling at me

But most importantly,
I tell you "I love you" in a whisper
Cause I can't say it loudly
Knowing that you'll never utter those words,
At least never for me

-- I Tell You "I Love You" in a Whisper by JBI
June 18, 2012, 3:14PM

The Diary of Kristine 2

Dear Diary,

Sorry for neglecting you for a long time. I ran away from home and I wasn't able to bring you. Unfortunately, my brother found me while I was waiting for customers at Cubao. Hence, I was dragged back to this God forsaken place. Whatever! I have friends here anyways who can help me forget.

I had a good day today! Seems that the world is becoming more perverted, I'm getting more customers! Of course, I tell them that I'm 15, but duh! It's kinda obvious that I'm younger than that. Hell, I don't even have pubic hairs yet. Haha! They don't mind though... after all, I do give excellent service. My blow jobs are beyond compare.

Oh yeah, I celebrated my birthday last October. Sorry coz I couldn't celebrate it with you. Naglayas nga ako di ba? Anyway, I am now officially 13 (like that changes anything!).

Ok, that's it for now. I'll tell you all about my escapades when I was away from ______ (i dunno what to call this place coz it sickens me to call it "home").

Bye,

Kristine

The Diary of Jem

Hi Diary,

I had the freakiest day today. For one, a stupid being spilled juice all over the Versace shirt I wore to school today. That freshie has to start thinking about serious social consequences. No one can dare to spill strawberry juice on me and walk away unscathed. Hello!

Then there's this guy who keeps on bugging me. Like hello! Does JD honestly think he's worth my time? Urgh! Please, I'd rather go out with a toad! Not that he's not cute... he's just not cute enough. He's no brad pitt.

Then there's this teacher. Everyone says "she's so good!" Whatever! No one living is still interested in Adam Smith and Karl Marx. And what's with the clothes? Totally unupdated 8O's. She's a living memorabilia of the days that must be forgotten.

The only saving grace to my absurdly stupid day is me getting an invite to the hottest party ever! Not that i don't expect my invite coz it would be a horrendous mistake not to invite me. But at least i got the very first invite. Laura made sure of that.

Oh my gosh! i have to totally start shopping now. it's not like the philippines offers the hottest clothes from the most exclusive brands! I have to convince daddy that i have to go to paris between now and next month. Hmm, what should i wear? Versace? Nope, too formal. Gucci? No, too oscars... same reason with dela Renta. Prada? Too office. Hmm, must find something from Armani then... We'll see.

Anyway, have to go now diary. Catch you later.

Muchas,

Jem

The Diary of Kristine

Dear Diary,

I no longer know how to dream. There was once a time when dreaming was a simple task of closing my eyes and bringing myself to locations no one in this world can find... except in my own psyche. That time has come to pass, however, ever since I grew up.

I'm only 12 years old. Young, impressionable, innocent. Hah! That may have been true if I had been a privileged kid. But life in a shanty with a drunkard as a father tends to be too much of a reality to a girl like me. I have to work each and everyday to support myself. School is but a memory dating back to when I was seven. It is nothing but an abstract concept, like having a good life. No one can make me believe right now that I could still have a chance at having a good life. I'm ready for a life of destitution.

Oh, btw, diary, i was raped last night... by my cute uncle! i dunno if it's really rape coz i really find him cute. the only thing is that he was high. oh i fought of course but he was so much powerful. and it was a half-hearted resistance at the very best coz if he weren't high, i would have been very willing. hmm, i might have to get my 2nd abortion should i conceive. tang ina, i don't have money to pay that hag again. I just have to hope that i'm not then.... shit, i should have demanded that he wear condom (told you, diary, i offered little resistance). If only he was my customer, i would have done so. unfortunately, he wasn't there to pay me. and i wasn't quite prepared for what we did.

my brother got busted again. i'm not bailing him this time though. bahala sya! he was the one who entered the rumble, he should be the one to get out of the consequence.

Shit, my father's here. I've to go now. See you in a while!

Love and kisses,

Kristine

Songs

Moved from breakingcacophony.blogspot.com... just realized that they should be written here in my "literary" blog.

UNCERTAIN

I'm giving you up
Oh I just had enough
Of your vague emotions
Uncertain feelings

I ask myself why
I stayed with you all the while
When you never said a word
Of what you felt for me

Refrain:
Was I just a friend
someone on whom you could depend
or did i mean maybe something more

Chorus:
time will heal the wounds that you have given
and maybe time will fill the emptiness in my heart
but until then i'm gonna leave you to your thinking
coz all you are right now is uncertain

failed in my dream
of us becoming a team
a love unrequited
a single sided affair

Repeat Refrain
Repeat Chorus
Repeat Chorus (except last word) going two steps higher

all you are right now is
all you are right now is
uncertain

you are uncertain

LOVE YOU, FRIEND

I looked at you in your eyes
and all i saw then was a friend
i looked in your smile
never thought myself will fall in love
but it seems that fate has different plans
for the two of us, the two of us

I looked at you at your face
it seemed nice enough but nothing special
til i looked at your soul
and saw the one i've always been dreaming of
now i understand that love cannot be planned
it cannot be planned

Chorus:
and now all i see is you and me
speaking our vows, standing hand in hand
we're showing the world the strength of our love
and now all i see is you and me
in front of the altar sharing each other's dreams
oh everything's changed starting with how
i look at you friend

i looked at you in your heart
that's when i knew there could be something more
now we understand what destiny has planned
for us

Repeat Chorus

Coda:
wasn't it pure magic
the way that we met
how we have gotten this close
and though we tried to deny
how we felt inside
we couldn't suppress
the fact really is
we're becoming close
close, "closer friends"

Repeat Chorus

well i'm just amazed
coz everything's changed
starting with how i look at you friend

I love you, friend

IT'S NOT YOU IT'S ME

Why, why do i stand here alone
when you're but few steps away
why do i shiver in the cold
why can't i find a way to say
say that i can no longer stay
coz all that i felt for you has gone
gone away

why, why have i changed so much
don't get excited with your touch
nary a sparkle in my eye
it's just the strangest thing
this going out of feeling
coz you are perfect girl
perfection

Refrain:
guess i got tired of perfection
though all you gave was affection
i can't fake it anymore
gotta leave through this door
but you just have to understand
it's not you it's me

why, why have i changed so much
don't get excited with your touch
nary a sparkle in my eye
why can't i find the words to say
say that i can no longer stay
coz you are perfect girl
perfection

Repeat Refrain

not you but me
never you just me

THE DAY YOU CAME

Happiness was not a part of my vocabulary
Being in love was only a concept of the mind
But my every belief was shattered
Every opinion splintered
I was surprised, I did not realize

The day you came was the dawning of my redemption
Just your sight put the meaning back into my life
I couldn't explain the feeling
That deep in my heart was conceiving
A dream of us, the dream of us and

Chorus:
The white picket fences
The playground right outdoors
The silly children, laughing running you so proudly call yours
The solitary sofa where we cuddle in the night
These are but dreams I know
But at least the future's bright

Repeat 2nd verse
Repeat Refrain twice

These are just dreams I know
Thanks for putting these dreams
Into my life

I DON'T WANNA EVER LET GO

Sitting by the fire
Listening to some old melodies
Looking at our pictures
Stirrin' in my mind sweet memories

Refrain:
The days of us together
The laughter we have shared
And I'll always remember
That passion between us flared

Counting down the days
The hours and the seconds 'til we meet again
I promise you forever
That our time will never ever end

Repeat Refrain

Chorus:
'Coz your face is so divine
Your lips taste like wine
Intoxicating my mind
Baby you took control
Of my heart and my soul
And I don't wanna ever let go

Repeat 2nd Verse
Repeat Refrain
Repeat Chorus until fade

LET ME IN YOUR HEART

You're crying again
And it pains me to see
You're hurting, love's injury
She's not worth your time
Baby, won't you see me
Come and take a look in my eyes

Refrain 1:
And there you'll see
The beauty of my surrender
Baby won't you hear me

Chorus:
Love let me in your heart
Let me make it up to you
Let me love you the way you want
And Love, share with me tonight
Let my sweet arms hold you tight
Let me take away your trembling and your fright

Won't you give me a chance
Let me take your sorrow
Let me heal you heartbreak
You're just wasting your time
Pining for that someone
Baby, you gotta stop being blind

Refrain 2:
Oh with me you'll see
A promise of forever
If you'll only let me

Repeat Chorus

Bridge:
tomorrow
she'll disappear
but I'll always be here

Repeat Chorus

Oh oh oh
Love let me in your heart
Let my sweet arms hold you tight
Let me take away your trembling and your fright

oh love
love
love
let me in your heart...

HEART'S BETRAYAL

thought I was blessed
to have you part of my family
my defenses rest,
I trusted you implicitly

oh now I could see
the folly was with me

Chorus:
you said you knew me
you said just trust me but you lied
slaughtered to pieces
you butchered me from behind
struck a knife through the heart
of your brother
even though
i would give up for you
my life

lying in pain
i watched you slither through the rain
what a crying shame
you severed our bond your triumph's in vain

oh you let me down
we're nothing but a game

Repeat Chorus

My life, my soul
i've given all that you need
well despite it all
you stole the only one for me

Repeat Chorus

i would give up for you my life
i would give up for you my life

LEARN TO LOVE AGAIN

if only leaves could fall in springtime
if light won't shine at the height of the day
then the world will understand my pain
and the world will learn to love the rain

Chorus:
let the rain fall on these hungry tears
let the wind blow all the painful years
let the sun dry up all the doubts and fears inside
maybe then i'll learn how to love again

if only stars at night will come crashing down
if only birds so high will lose their sound
then the world will understand my pain
and the world will learn to love the rain

Repeat Chorus

Coda:
the heart can take only so much pain
through it all, i only had the rain

let the rain fall on these hungry tears
let the wind blow all the painful years

Repeat Chorus

learn to love again

tonight you shall fly

for jerome and his family, that they may find peace amidst the internal chaos.

***
tonight you shall fly
beyond the stars
beyond the glitter
of a beautiful night

tonight you shall fly
back home
where you belong
in the sweet arms of the maker

tonight you shall fly
be welcomed
by a glorious harmony
of beautiful angels

tonight you shall fly
and in your flight
your journey ends
as forever begins for you

tonight you shall fly
and we will all remember you
your smile your strength
your compassion, your love

for tonight you shall fly
to start your sweet task
of watching over those you love
with His eternal guiding light

PRASAILING: An Erotic Poem

Note: The following entry contains scenes not suitable for children. Parental guidance is recommended.

***

For Steph.

***

She feels the lick of water on her body.
She's caressed all over.
She's cold with the difference of temperature
of the world outside and in her.
She shivers a bit, not only from the cold
but also with delight.
She hides a smile as she's tickled.
Then suddenly she's jerked
with movement in front of her.
A movement so sudden,
forcefully heightening her senses.
She begins to climb
towards something excessively familiar
yet unknown.
She gives out a gasp.
Higher and higher she climbs.
She gives a moan.
Sensations overwhelming her whole being.
She struggles to maintain equilibrium
but she fails.
She's now falling.
Faster than ever.
She feels the intense rush of a roller coaster
in its most dangerous turn.
She cannot control it.
She nears the final stage.
She screams.
Wetness envelops her...

She's back in the water.
She savors the experience.
She ponders what has just happened.
She fails to control the shoot...
in her first experience at parasailing.